Tuesday, June 24, 2008 . 20:02

i dont fucking know what i can do anymore. even if my freaking arms drop off. we'll never be fast. even if i give a million pep talks. they will never change. even if i try to up my own rotation and maintain till my muscles burn and chest explodes. we'll still be wallowing in their back wash.

even if im faster than half the people in pairs/teams i dont get shit. its not as if i dont try. but it just doesnt seem to be paying off. for all these three screwed up years. three wasted years. each year i see my hopes rising, only to be crushed beyond any rebuilding.

its just not fair. and i dont see the point anymore. year after year, i tell me, everyone tells me, that theres always the next year. oh but who knew right, this year fucked up too.